


Trapped

by Daegaer



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Adultery, Assassins, Children, F/M, Family, Friendship, Infidelity, Marriage, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-14
Updated: 2006-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-23 04:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of very bad choices. A series of drabbles written for <a href="http://wk_100.livejournal.com">WK 100</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Trapped

_An offer you can't refuse_

 

Mamoru looked round the shop, smiling slightly.

"It's smaller than I remembered."

Aya twisted her apron between her hands. Her brother's friend was alarming. She'd never spoken to anyone famous before.

"I promised I'd look after you," he said. "I can offer you more than this -- a _good_ life." He coughed, flushed a little. "I want two children, at least one to be a boy. I won't make demands on you after that."

"I --" she said, smiling in embarrassment. She ducked her head, wordless.

He kissed her cheek and slipped a ring on her finger. The gold felt very heavy.

 

 _Unwelcome News_

 

Ran read the letter over yet again. The handwriting was clumsy; he'd never been able to make head or tails of Omi's entries in the shop's day-book. The paper was shaking too, that didn't help him in deciphering it. It was odd how calm he felt, he thought.

"Aya, are you OK?" Ken said, worried.

"KR has a mission," Michel chirped. "He says it'll keep us busy, hee-hee ♥"

"That bastard," Aya whispered, eyes still on the paper.

"We _need_ you," Michel said, taking Aya's hand. "You can't run out on us!"

He smiled innocently, his eyes and grip like steel.

 

 _Picture Perfect_

 

Aya shivered as the car drew up to the kerb. Mamoru had to attend charity functions, but she wished she could have stayed home. There'd be paparazzi. There always were.

"Mamoru, maybe I could go home," she whispered.

"It'll be fine," he said, giving her his TV smile. He raised her fingers to his lips. "Just smile and don't say anything. They just want pictures of you looking pretty; you can do that, can't you? You're such a pretty girl."

"Thank you," she said glumly.

She stepped out of the car and took his arm. They smiled in happy unison.

 

 _Truth in Advertising_

 

Aya used to like magazines about romance. They promised fireworks and excitement. They promised she'd know what love felt like. They were stupid, she decided. Fireworks and excitement were not important. A husband who respected her was better.

Mamoru was always kind, always considerate, always pleasant. He never grew irritated with her. She was sure he must love her, and did her best to feel the same. Maybe husbands were much the same as brothers, she thought. You loved them, but it was a safe, rather dull love.

Sex was . . . nice. He was always considerate.

She wished there were fireworks.

 

 _Promise Keeper_

 

Aya took a deep breath and sat down heavily on the toilet. The line stayed blue. It stayed blue for the next half-hour. She practiced smiling in the mirror, ran through appropriately excited announcements.

"Mamoru!" she said in the sitting room. "We're going to have a baby!"

He jumped up, grinning. It was a real smile, she thought, touched.

"Aya-chan," he said happily, "Thank you." He kissed her forehead and put a hand protectively on her stomach. "Thank you."

Everything will be real now, she thought, wrapping her arms around him. Mamoru felt warm and solid.

Everything would be real.

 

 _Health and Companionship_

Aya wondered if she should be worried. Mamoru asked after her health so often that she began to wonder if everything really was all right. It was better to be thankful for his attention, she decided. Although it _was_ wearing to find him rushing home as early as he could, and finding herself always in his company just when she had become accustomed to his long working-hours.

She paused. What sort of bad woman was she, to resent her husband's company?

"Were you well today?" Mamoru asked.

"Yes," she said, and wished they had more to say to each other.

 

 _Bad Relations_

 

"Congratulations, Uncle!" Ken said, grinning.

Aya snatched the letter back. "Give me that!" He folded it carefully and hid it away.

"Touchy today, aren't we?" Ken said. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

 _It's not your business_ , Aya meant to say. It came out as a mumbled, "Takatori."

Ken blinked. "It's _Omi_ ," he said. " _Omi_ , Aya. You should be glad she married a friend. Are you going to visit her?"

"No," Aya said. "Not yet," he added, staving off Ken's objections.

He'd never see her again, he thought unhappily. Not when he couldn't even make himself use her married name.

 

 _Watched_

 

She had to have a boy. The doctor smilingly told her it was almost certainly a girl. Aya waited till she had left the clinic before crying.

"Mamoru will be unhappy you came out alone."

She gasped for air. "Thank you, Naoe-san," she said. "This is _Tokyo_. I don't need a minder." She turned to look at him. "If you'll excuse me."

He looked back the way she'd come. "You _have_ a doctor, Mrs Takatori. Why visit a public clinic?"

"Spy on someone else," she said bitterly.

He'd tell Mamoru. Her chance to wipe out her failure was gone.

 

 _If at first you don't succeed_

 

"I'm sorry," Aya said, leaning back on the pillows. "Are you very upset?" He'd known before the delivery, of course, but maybe he'd still hoped --

"What have I to be upset about?" Mamoru said gently. "She's lovely, Aya-chan. She looks just like you."

"You're always so kind," Aya whispered. It might be easier if he wasn't kind, she thought. She curled her fingers round his as he took her hand. "What if the second child's a girl too?"

"Well," Mamoru said cheerfully. "We're both young. We can keep on trying, right?"

"Right," Aya said, and managed to match his smile.

 

 _Lack of Communication_

 

"Is Ran getting my letters?" Aya asked.

Mamoru looked up from breakfast in surprise. "Yes. I assume so."

"Three years," Aya said discontentedly. "He never writes back. Are you _sure_ he's getting them?" Masako thumped her fist on Aya's knee for attention. "Shh," Aya said, distractedly.

"I don't know why he doesn't reply," Mamoru snapped. "Frankly, I'm disappointed in his behaviour."

They might have a fight, Aya realised. At last.

"Family is important," Mamoru said. "I've made sacrifices for this family. I wouldn't keep you from yours." He paused, went on carefully. "Marrying you wasn't a sacrifice."

They didn't fight.

 

 _Failure_

 

If she could just give Mamoru a son, she'd have fulfilled her obligation. Aya shook the thought off, as always. Give him a son and then what? She had a good life, a kind husband and a beautiful daughter. She shouldn't want anything else. It was stupid to think that everything was empty, dull and grey.

She left the house, walking aimlessly. She was shocked when she was almost pulled off her feet.

"The lights have changed! Are you trying to kill yourself, you stupid woman?"

She looked from Naoe-san's angry face to the heavy traffic, shaking.

Another opportunity lost.

 

 _Transparent_

 

"Tell me _why_ I shouldn't tell him," Naoe-san said.

"I wasn't thinking! I wasn't trying to hurt myself! Please, Naoe-san, he'd be unhappy --"

He looked at her in annoyance, but she thought she'd won. He was a rude, sullen man, but she'd heard him telling Mamoru he shouldn't work so hard, he should eat better. He was Mamoru's friend and wouldn't want to sadden him.

"What's wrong with you, Mrs Takatori?" he said. "You used to be a better actor."

She sat back, appalled. If he could see through her, could Mamoru?

Maybe everyone knew she was a fraud.

 

 _Getting away with it_

 

Mamoru smiled and kissed her cheek goodnight, and never gave a hint that anyone had been telling tales about her. Aya found herself relaxing. Perhaps she had a co-conspirator.

"I think I should get something new to wear at that American's dinner," she said as Mamoru headed off to one of his mysterious nighttime appointments.

"Good. We don't want you outdone by his wife. Whatever you want," Mamoru said.

"I'll go shopping tomorrow. If you don't need him, maybe Naoe-san could drive me?"

Naoe-san grimaced. _You didn't tell_ , Aya thought. _And it's too late now._ She laughed as Mamoru nodded.

 

 _Further Education_

 

"I know nothing about fashion and I'm not a chauffeur," Naoe-san said testily as he pulled out onto the motorway. "What do you _want?_ "

"Teach me to lie," Aya said. She met his eyes in the mirror. "Teach me to be a better actor again."

"Why?"

"Mamoru deserves someone cheerful," she said.

He was quiet a long time. Then, "Just divorce him."

"No," she said. "He loves me. I'm a bad wife, I know, but I can seem better."

" _Shit_ ," he hissed. "Mrs Takatori --"

"I know you want him to be happy."

His eyes in the mirror were very sad.

 

 _Adaptation_

 

Naoe-san had known Mamoru a long time. Aya discovered more about her husband's preferences in a week than she had ascertained for herself in three years. She vowed to never again touch foods he ate only to please her, and smiled when he watched silly cartoons with Masako.

"Admit it," she said, "You wanted children so you'd have an excuse for watching these."

He looked at her blankly, and then laughed. "You found me out," he said, and kissed the top of Masako's head as she peered at her giggling parents in surprise.

This was a good idea, Aya thought.

 

 _Misspent Youth_

"Opera tickets?" Naoe-san scoffed. "That's a present for Takatori-Mamoru-Rising-Young-Politician. Get him something he'd _like_. Here --" He held out a dog-eared photo. Aya covered her mouth at the sight of Mamoru with bleached hair and earrings.

"He was a punk rocker!" she giggled.

"Something like that," Naoe-san said, and she could hear the difference in his voice. He didn't smile much, but he had a sense of humour. "Get him American rock music."

"Am I taking your idea for his present?"

"He'd think I'd gone soft," Naoe-san said, and _did_ smile. "You get it."

They grinned at each other conspiratorially.

 

 _In Confidence_

 

Aya was jubilant. Mamoru loved her, she was sure, but now she was making herself _easier_ to love. At public functions she thought of Naoe-san's spiteful stories, and luxuriated in the secrets other guests thought were unknown. She knew Mamoru was pleased she no longer complained about attending.

She'd sat at home too much, she thought. That was probably the trouble. Her lunches with Naoe-san gave her topics of conversation and insights into Mamoru she found charming. It was charming too how eager Naoe-san was to talk about Mamoru, despite his initial reluctance.

It did them both good to laugh.

 

 _Deeper_

 

"Why does Mamoru always work so late?" Aya said.

"The job's demanding," Naoe-san said. "He must be available more than 9-5."

Aya sighed. If she was making these changes, Mamoru could at least come home to appreciate them. She frowned; she shouldn't slip back into bad habits and want more than she had.

"Thank you for helping," she said. "I very much enjoy our meetings."

"Me too," Naoe-san said unwillingly. "Mrs Takatori, we shouldn't --"

"Please, you use Mamoru's name, use mine too."

". . . Aya," he said quietly.

"Nagi-kun," she said, wondering why he seemed so sad, "You're a good friend."

 

 _Pretty Things_

 

She could talk to Mamoru about music. And about his terrible taste in TV. And they _were_ both genuinely interested in Masako. It made his continual kindness less tiresome.

"What do you want from Singapore?" he asked.

"Singapore?"

"I told you. I'm there next week, Tuesday to Friday," he said, off-hand.

"You didn't say," she said, frowning. Tuesdays she had lunch with Nagi.

"I did," he said.

 _You didn't_ , she wanted to snap.

"I'll bring you something pretty," he said, picking Masako up. "And something pretty for you!"

More pretty things. All of a sudden, she wanted to scream.

 

 _Busywork_

 

"I'm sorry," Ken said. "I let slip you wanted time off. Chloe found you'd been looking for flights on the internet."

Aya concentrated on oiling his sword.

"You were really going to go this time, huh?"

"Yeah," Aya said. "You were right. I've been an idiot."

"You can go after the mission," Ken said eagerly. "Hey, I'll go too, I really want to see Omi. I can't imagine him as a family man."

"They'll just find us more missions till we stop trying to go," Aya said. He was content with that, he thought.

Damn, he was such a coward.

 

 _Fall_

 

"I'm glad you had a safe trip! You're still free tomorrow? Is noon OK?"

"Mrs Takatori --" Nagi began.

"Aya."

"Aya. I can't --"

"Has your day off changed --"

"No more meetings," he said.

Aya clenched her fists. "What? I need --"

"You _don't_ need them. You're happier now, aren't you?"

"No!" she said. "Nagi, I --" She was going to say it. "I don't love Mamoru."

"Stop!"

"I don't!"

"Stop _talking!_ " he said desperately.

She somehow fell and he caught her. She froze, shocked, as he kissed her. It was awkward and messy, and not like Mamoru.

She didn't let him let go.

 

 _Comparisons_

 

Mamoru watched what he ate and exercised; under his expensive clothes he was nicely built, comfortably solid. Nagi was thin, all hard muscle and not a gram of extra flesh. Aya wrapped her arms and legs around him, wanting to feel those muscles shift and move.

Mamoru was slow and considerate. Nagi was hasty, and not very gentle. Aya pushed herself against him, urging him on.

Mamoru wanted sex in bed. Aya, lying on her discarded clothing on the floor, grinned at the discomfort. She made noises Mamoru would think undignified and laughed at Nagi's final groan.

She was happy.

 

 _Lunchbreak_

 

The next day Nagi showed up, unsmiling as ever, for her usual trip to town. He drove straight to a hotel and her worries over his mood vanished.

It was better when their urgency wasn't for fear of someone coming into the room, when they could start again lazily after the first frantic moments. Aya stroked Nagi's face, liking the look in his eyes as he moved inside her.

"Neglect makes people seek comfort elsewhere," Nagi murmured in her ear. "He shouldn't be surprised."

Aya hugged him, glad he understood. It wasn't _her_ fault. Mamoru was the one to blame.

 

 _Plan of Attack_

On Tuesdays they visited hotels. The rest of the week, Aya waited patiently. She found she could smile with real warmth at Mamoru, pitying him for not knowing anything real about pleasure or love. She could even go to bed with him; even if it was habitual and boring, it helped her relax for sleep.

"You have such a glow about you these days," Mamoru said, whispering in the dark. "Do you think we might be going to have another baby?"

"Not yet," she said. "Sorry."

A pretty solemn-eyed baby, she thought, suddenly eager. She'd make Nagi stop using condoms.

 

 _First Fight_

 

Aya was _glad_ to fight with Nagi. It felt real.

"You're crazy," he said curtly. "You can't risk getting pregnant by me. My genes shouldn't ever be passed on."

"Why? Do you have a sexual disease?"

"No!"

"Wasn't it nicer without a condom? Didn't you like the first time?" she wheedled.

"God," he muttered. "I can't pass off my kid as his. I can't do that to Mamoru."

"But you _can_ sleep with me."

"With protection," he said. "Now, do I put it on or do I take you home?"

She gave in. And discovered she liked make-up sex.

 

 _Business Trip_

 

"I'll be abroad for three weeks this time," Mamoru said.

"Three weeks?" Aya said, her heart sinking. "Must you?"

"I'm afraid so," he said politely. Then, hesitantly, "Will you miss me?"

"Yes, of course, Mamoru! Maybe . . . I could come?"

"It'd be boring," he said, but he was smiling. "I'd be in work all day but you might like to do some shopping?"

"Yes!" she cried, clapping her hands. "One of your security could show me round!"

"It'll be nice to have you and Masako along," he said.

Masako. Oh well, Aya thought, she could play in the corner or something.

 

 _Honeymooners_

 

Singapore and Taipei both had their charms, Aya thought, chief among them that she professed herself confused and scared by foreign cities, and ended up with Nagi's company every other day.

"You're taking me away from my job," Nagi grumbled, undoing his tie.

"You don't mind," she said, pulling him close. But it was true, she thought. Suppose Mamoru really _did_ need Nagi here? Suppose he died? She'd be a very wealthy widow. She pressed the thought down. She didn't want wealthy freedom. Not like that.

For a moment, held tight in Nagi's arms, she wished she was with Mamoru.

 

 _Happy Family_

 

"Poor baby," Mamoru murmured as Masako wailed into his shirtfront. "Too much icecream, Mummy?"

"I've been giving her a lot of treats," Aya admitted. She felt awful - all the sweets that kept Masako content in front of the TV while Aya was with Nagi had made her ill. "I'm such a bad mother," she said, furious at herself.

"It's easy to overeat on holiday," Mamoru said. "I'm sorry I can't be with you more during the day, you're doing this all on your own. I'll take a day off, we can do something as a family."

"Thanks," she sighed, resigned.

 

 _Escape Plans_

 

Aya cheerfully passed the coffee to Mamoru. It was Tuesday, and Nagi'd be free. The door opened and he was there as if summoned, looking unhappy and tired.

"Mamoru," he said. "I need to talk to you."

"Naoe-san!" Aya said quickly, "Won't you have some coffee?"

He looked from her to Mamoru. "I need to quit," he said.

"What? _Nagi-kun_ \--" Mamoru said, jumping up. "Don't be silly --"

"Naoe-san, please! Sit!" Aya said.

"I can't go on this way," Nagi said.

" _Please_ , I don't want you to go --" Mamoru said.

"Please, Naoe-san," Aya said.

He stood between them, silent and defeated.

 

 _Winners and Losers_

 

"Don't ever do that to me again!" Aya said, throwing their clothes aside.

"I wasn't going to tell," he said, exhausted. "I'm not going. He needs me."

" _I_ need you!"

"I know," he sighed.

"I need you, Nagi." She kissed him, coaxed him onto the bed. "You're everything I need."

"You both need me."

"But _I_ love you," she said.

He looked at her, then shook with odd, silent laughter. "Good point," he said. He picked up the pack of condoms, then deliberately put them down again. "I'll give you what you want."

This time he was slow and gentle.

 

 _Family Assets_

 

"Look," Mamoru said, spreading out the paper on the table. "Here's a really good picture of you. You look very elegant. Just wait till you're the Prime Minister's wife, eh? They'll be falling over themselves to snap you then!"

"Lucky me," Aya murmured.

"I'm visiting a school this week. You should come -- we could bring Masako!"

Aya set her cup down firmly. "You are _not_ using Masako as some sort of publicity prop!"

"I didn't mean it that way," Mamoru said meekly, with a little guilt. "You both stay home."

"Oh, I'll go," she said.

A bargain was a bargain.

 

 _Good with Children_

 

The children were very cute, and there were hardly any photographers. She ignored them in favour of watching Mamoru grin with delight at small children sharing toys with him, and cheerfully answer their questions on how many children he had.

Travelling home, she found herself taking his hand. "I'm sorry we haven't had another child," she said.

"Maybe it's not meant to be," he said, then slipped a hand round the back of her neck and kissed her with more passion than she expected.

"I'm happy with you and Masako," he whispered.

It was surprisingly good to kiss him back.

 

 _Announcement_

 

A week later, she realised her period was overdue. She waited another week just in case, finally could delay no longer.

The bathroom would look better in green, she thought. A more powerful shower would be nice. Finally she looked down at the stick in her hand, knowing what the answer would be. She looked at her reflection, seeing only a nice, respectable woman. Then she went out to share her news.

Mamoru practically danced round the room.

Nagi sat on the bed, head sunk in his hands.

Aya thought she might like to run away from both of them.

 

 _Admitting Defeat_

 

"Aya," Nagi said, taking her hands.

"Shh," she said, and thought she'd won when he kissed her for long, long minutes.

"Aya," he said again, "You know we have to stop this."

"You don't like fat girls?" she said, holding on.

"Don't joke. If I could --" he gave a short, miserable laugh. "To think we got here by wanting to make things _better_ for Mamoru and you."

"It's so _easy_ for you," she said.

"It's not easy. Hate me if it's easier."

She went home.

"What's wrong?" Mamoru said, holding her as she cried.

"Nothing," she sobbed. "Hormones. Nothing."

Nothing.

 

 _Fulfilling Obligations_

 

Mamoru worried that it was a difficult pregnancy. It was, Aya thought, just not for medical reasons. It was a relief when it was over.

Saijou had a surprised expression and was a pretty, solemn-eyed baby. The nurses giggled at the way they had to prise him from Mamoru's arms.

"He's the best baby ever!" Mamoru crowed, cuddling him.

"What about Masako?" Aya said.

"She's the best too. Hey --" He wiped her tears gently. "You're tired. It's OK. When we go home everything will be better."

She nodded. She didn't know how she could ever have found his kindness annoying.

 

 _Settling_

 

The house felt like a refuge, not a prison. She could stay with the children, could concentrate on being a good mother, a good wife. She was a fool to ever have risked being anything else.

"Do you want more than two children? Even though we have Saijou?" she asked meekly. "Because I'd like that."

"Are you sure?" Mamoru said. "I'd hate you to feel --" He stopped, smiled at her. "I love children, Aya-chan. I'd love a bigger family, if that's what you want."

 _You see?_ she told herself. _He's easy to please. He's not a bad man._

 _You'll live._

 

 _All Fall Down_

 

Aya stopped in the doorway. Mamoru had photos spread on the table. Nagi was standing there, his face pale and sick.

"Aya," Mamoru said. He held up a photo.

Aya covered her mouth at the sight of her and Nagi kissing.

"A tabloid reporter," Mamoru said. "He wanted to blackmail us."

"It's not true," Aya said, stunned.

"It's been over for months," Nagi said.

"When did it start?"

They were silent.

 _"When?"_

"Just over a year ago," Nagi said. "Mamoru, you don't understand what it's like to feel unloved --"

"Don't I?" Mamoru said. "I'd say I'm finding out, wouldn't you?"

 

 _You don't know what you have . . ._

 

"Here are my conditions," Mamoru said the next morning. "This is an election year, and I can't afford scandal. We'll divorce after the election. The children will live with me."

Aya twisted her hands together. "Mamoru --"

"I won't stop you seeing them. But if you or Nagi _ever_ suggest he's Saijou's father, I'll end your access. He's my son."

"Mamoru! I'll do anything you want --"

"I want not to be betrayed by someone I thought loved me," he said tiredly. "I want my wife to be faithful. I thought we could at least be _content_ , Aya."

 _She_ wanted that. Now.

 

 _. . . till it's gone_

 

The papers discreetly suggested the election campaign was putting strain on Takatori-san's wife, the less discreet speculating about a difficult delivery.

Aya crept back to her own room. Mamoru's door was locked, as usual. The thought of facing him alone made her burn with shame, but she had to manage it.

The election was near, and she'd been a perfect wife, no matter what the papers said. A woman who'd recently given birth was entitled to look a little tired.

She'd been good. Mamoru was soft-hearted and kind, so kind. He had to forgive her, she thought.

He had to.


End file.
